It's been a while...

Since my last post. I haven't given up on my journey. I've just realized it's a lot harder than it used to be. I don't know if it's because of my age or my metabolism or maybe I'm just tired of being hungry. At any rate I'm trying to take this seriously.
As some of you may know I recently took a trip to California to meet my new grandson. He is a perfect, beautiful little guy. Well I rode the train down there and back. That's kind of a mistake. It was a long train ride so on the way back I decided to get a sleeping car. Well they feed you when you have one of those. They feed you well. Along with champagne and free wine tasting. Let's just say my pants are a bit tighter since I've returned home.
I have decided it's time for drastic measures. No not a gastric bypass, not yet anyway;) I decided to join Weight Watchers online. I know, I swore I would never pay one of those places again, but I just can't seem to get started on my own. So I signed up for 3 months. My goal is to loose 10 to 15 pounds in that time. If I can't then goodbye Weight Watchers. I needed to do something. I can't afford to keep buying new pants and I can't get my wedding ring off. It seems to be growing into my finger, and it needs cleaned really bad. Hopefully after 3 months I can clean it. It is no longer shiny and sparkly. I can't have that.
So far, in the last 2 days I've been doing this, I've done OK. I really didn't have much diet food in the house until today. Now I have bananas, grapes, tomatoes, lettuce, celery and all sorts of goodies. I wonder how much of it I'm going to have to throw away? I'm making baked ziti for dinner tonight. I know it's not really low cal, but I'm making it meatless. That should help. Along with a salad and no bread. My husband may cringe at the thought of no bread, but he'll live.
I will try harder to keep this blog up to date on my successes and, unfortunately, failures. We all learn from our mistakes, at least that's what I've been told. I'm not so sure though...

I can't believe it!

I LOST 2 POUNDS! I finally got on the scale today after weeks of avoiding it because the last time I stepped on it's cold evil surface it was not a pleasant experience. Today I said screw it, I'm getting on. I couldn't believe it when I saw the numbers. I was so excited that I called my husband and he said "Good for you, can I go now?" I guess I can't expect much more from him. In his defense he was busy at the time I called and probably stressed. He's a man that can eat anything he wants and still not gain weight. Sometimes I feel like killing him, but I suppress that temptation because he maintains my car very well.
I believe my small success so far is because I have cut back on my wine:( Now I'm having a couple of glasses no more than 3 nights a week. I haven't been too good about logging into my Loseit app and I didn't go to the gym at all last week plus we went to Burgerville last Saturday and I had a Colossal Burger Basket, with no cheese of course. It's gotta be the wine packing on the poundage. Well I'm not giving it up completely partly because it really isn't a good thing to deny yourself simple pleasures and partly because I'm a raging alcoholic that needs a little fix during the week. Hey, admittin' it's half the battle.
I guess I'll just keep on this road for a while. I'm going to try harder to log my food and I did go to the gym this morning. I've been using the fat burn setting on the treadmill. It is brutal, but I do it then come home all sweaty and tired. This morning I forgot to brush my teethe before I left. I'm sure I smelled horrifying when I got home. I tried not to breath out of my mouth while I was at the gym. I'm sure my heinous morning breath could wake the dead. Now I'm all clean and shiny and ready to take on the day. And I'm starving, it's almost lunch time. I guess I better get off my ass and eat, something good for me and not a pound of chips. Until next time...

Another morning at the gym...

6 o'clock came around again and my alarm told me it's time to get up. I crawled out of bed and looked out the window. There was an inch or two of snow on the ground. I said "I don't know if I want to drive in that." My husband said half asleep "You'll be fine." So I got on my gym clothes, let out the dogs and did my usual routine before I went off in the snow. As soon as I opened the garage door I could hear water gushing down the gutter. It seemed to be melting. I pulled the car out of the garage and it was raining. Off I went. The roads were slushy, but the main roads were clear and wet. I thought to myself "Why on earth did they close the schools today?" I got to the gym. The parking lot was slushy and soaked. There were puddles I had to dodge that had at least an inch of water. I spashed into the gym, signed in, went to the tread mill to start my workout. I stepped on the bottom of the treat mill. You know that tread mills have a belt that moves even when it's not on. Down I went. I quickly looked around to see who was laughing at me. Not one person there seemed to notice. Either they were trying to ignore the comedy relief that just happened or they were all in there own little worlds and didn't see a thing. I sat there and giggled to myself for a few minutes then got up and dusted myself off and began my morning walk. I then thought to myself "What if I was really hurt?" I probably would still be laying there. I wonder if they have cameras there. Next time I go I should look around. If they do I would love to have that footage. Who knows, maybe it will end up on youtube.
I've been doing pretty good with my looseit app for the last few days so this morning after I got home I thought I would finally step on the dreaded scale to see if there has been any progress. Well I hate to say it, but there hasn't. I weigh the same. At least I haven't gained any weight. That would really suck. It's very frustrating to think you're doing well, but have nothing to show for it. I guess it's time to say goodbye to wine. Well not forever, just for a few days and then I'll see what I weigh.

There's an app for that...

Well I know it's been a few days. Not a lot of excitement is going on so why write about nothing. That would be boring, well more boring. I made it to the gym this week on Mon., Wed. & Fri. That was my goal for the week and I did it. Due to a moment of complete insanity I decided to set my alarm for 6am, instead of the usual 7am, on those days so I could get up, go to the gym and get home in time to wish the men a good day before they left. Well I don't know why, but it worked. I am not a morning person by any means but for some reason I was able to get up and get going and without coffee on top of that. Of course I do have my coffee when I get home. I hope that will work out next week. I guess I'll have to wait and see.
Now on to eating right. I've really been struggling with that. I've had this app on my phone called LoseIt. I've used it in the passed with some success (if I stick with it that is) so I thought I really should give it a try again. At least get in the habit of recording everything I eat. That's the hard part. I'm good for a couple of days then it all goes to hell. The app is really easy to use and I think it's free. You can save the foods you eat on this app so all you have to do is find them on the list and hit add. There is also a database of foods and restaurants to search through. A new feature I noticed is a bar code scanner. I haven't tried it yet, but that is interesting. It certainly would be a time saver to just scan something. I will definitely check into that.
My next hurdle is wine. I'm going to have to cut back on that. It will be difficult. I love having a couple of glasses of wine in the evening while watching TV. So what if it's every evening right? How many calories can 2 glasses have? 125 calories a glass? Really? Oh come on. That can't be right. Oh crap. Well one thing at a time. I've made it to the gym for 2 weeks. My goal is three days a week for six weeks to see if that becomes a habit. Next goal is to keep a record of foods I eat and hopefully make better choices. I'll work on the wine thing later. Much later.

I almost lost sight...

I just got done with dinner and I was thinking I really want a bowl of ice cream, or maybe a couple glasses of wine. Not together because red wine with ice cream at the same time sounds dreadful. Anyway I just happened to look at my calendar for tomorrow and it said 'gym'. I thought to myself "I'll never reach my goal if I keep behaving this way" so no ice cream and no red wine, at least not tonight. I'm not saying I'll never give into temptation, but I'm not giving in tonight. I made it to the gym 2 times this week and I don't want to give up now. Tomorrow I'm going to get up, put my gym clothes on and head off to the gym after the men leave. I'll be done in time to meet my mother at 10am.
Yes my mother again. She's having her car serviced and I said I would meet her at the dealership then we can go shopping. That means a meal out during the day... again. I will have to stay strong and try to have something without to much grease or carbs. Ha, I'll need all the luck I can get for that. It seems that everywhere you go to eat is just grease and carbs, bad grease and bad carbs. There are a few places I've ran across that have a few things on their menus that are suppose to be low in calories. Usually that consists of food I just don't like to eat, or grilled chicken with some weird sauce. Can't they just make something that looks like real food but without all the grease, bread, potatoes, cheese, what about a vegetable?
I haven't weighed myself since I started this blog because I don't feel like I've been cutting down on calories. I'm still choosing crap over something healthy because something healthy is a pain in the ass to cook, or it gives me a belly ache. Apples are the worst. I can't eat them, which is OK because I really don't like them. I like other fruits, but it seems like most give me a belly ache or they have little to no flavor because they've been picked before they are ripe and shipped in from someplace in South America. Maybe if I just stick with fruits I will get use to them. But in the mean time I need to stay close to a bathroom. It's a good thing I work from home, or maybe it isn't. I do have clients that come here. Hmmm, maybe I can introduce fruit slowly.
One time I thought I would be smart and try those Fiber One bars. They were tasty. And they seemed to satisfy a sweet tooth and fill me up. After about 15 minutes I figured out I couldn't eat those either. The gas lasted the rest of the day and into the night. My husband wasn't too pleased with me that day. Cross Fiber One bars off the list. Tomorrow is a brand new day.

Today I went to the gym :D

Yes I do have a gym membership. I got that some time ago. Do I go on a regular basis? No. I have a hard time getting in the habit of going. I'll go for a few days then stop for a while, go for a few days then stop for a while. This has been an ongoing pattern since I joined this gym. The good thing is it's only $10.00 a month so if I don't go it's not that much of a loss. On the other hand that's a bad thing too because I don't feel so bad when I don't go. Maybe I should join a more expensive gym. Na. I'm cheap.
I heard somewhere that it takes 6 weeks to develop a habit. Well my goal with the gym is to go 3 days a week for 6 weeks to see if I can make it a habit. I'm taking small steps first. I put the gym on my calendar for 2 weeks. If I can make it for 2 weeks 3 days a week then I'll try for 2 more and so on. We'll see if that becomes a habit. If it does I'll increase it to 4 days a week and go from there.
As far as watching what I'm eating is going, well, it isn't. I am watching what I'm eating, watching it go into my mouth. The problem is that it isn't really good stuff that's going into my mouth. A lot of eating out lately has happened. I blamed it on the holidays, but those are over. Well so I thought.
My mother called today. She has a low tire and wants my husband to come over with is little compressor and fill it. She said for our trouble, she'll buy us dinner. Oh joy. And I'm sure she has food in her refrigerator that she feels the need to unload on us. Mostly crappy food, as in cookies and sweets and stuff. The left over holiday crap food she doesn't want to eat. Oh thank you mother. It's my goal in life to weight 300 pounds. Please keep giving me all your fattening foods. My mother is a very tiny person. She must only weigh 98 pounds soaking wet. I think I'm going to sneak over to her house one night and kill her. That's what she gets for being a tiny person. Well I probably wont kill her, just beat her up. Well I wont do that either, but I'm tempted.
So another day down the drain in diet land. Well at least I went to the gym. That should count for something. I have Wednesday on my calendar for my next gym date. Wish me luck :)

What to eat?

I've been thinking about this for the last couple of days. What is a person who wants to loose weight and likes to eat crap suppose to eat instead of crap? While I was at the chiropractor yesterday I heard him ask someone if they wanted to join him on a grain free diet for the next 30 days. I thought to myself I should try that, then I remembered the time I tried The South Beach Diet a few years back. After four days I wanted to go on a murdering rampage for a small slice of bread or maybe a cracker. So I thought that's probably not for me. Then I thought I'll just cut out foods that are made with grains, but not dairy and not other starchy foods like potatoes or peas. That shouldn't be too hard. Well I got up this morning, had a cup of coffee (by the way I will NEVER give up my morning coffee without a fight) then decided to eat some breakfast. My first thought was cereal... oh, wait, that's made of grains and sugars, so I had a couple of scrambled eggs. Then I got to thinking, I can't have scrambled eggs every day, ugh. What am I suppose to eat besides that? In comes google. I googled best grain free breakfast foods. Let me tell you most of what I saw made me want to hurl skyward. A breakfast burrito mad with an egg tortilla? How am I suppose to pick that up without it falling apart? Biscuits made with almond flour? I've never heard of almond flour. I wouldn't even begin to know where to look for it much less how to cook with it. Then I had a bright idea. I will just cut out the processed grains and just stick to whole grains. I like oatmeal. I was turned onto Dave's Killer Bread, I like that. Problem solved... well except for the processed foods that still exist in this house. And then there is pasta. Now I've tried the whole wheat pasta and it's like eating sand. I would rather jump on a pitchfork than eat spaghetti made with that. That is another problem I'll have to figure out. How to live without pasta. I'm not sure that can happen.
Of course I can always substitute things with fresh fruits and veggies. Well I don't know if you are aware of this, but the fresh fruits and veggies in the grocery store taste like (pardon my language) shit. I've been researching organic foods and discovered CSA, Community Supported Agriculture. What a great idea. I found a little farm up in Ridgefield that fits in my budget so I'm going to try them out. The problem with that is I have to pay for the season up front and wait until spring before I get anything. What am I suppose to do in the mean time? I guess I'll just have to eat the grocery store cardboard that they try to pass off as food.
Meat. I live in a house of carnivores who love eating meat. I like it, but I don't feel I need to eat it every day. If my husband goes a day without meat he may get violent and if my son cannot have his burger fix he will surely go mad. So I'm stuck buying meat. Mostly red meat and a lot of it. Well a few weeks back I saw a movie called Food Inc. If you like what you're eating now and you don't want to change, DON'T watch this movie. It is truly horrifying what has become of our food system. Corporate greed is killing us in more ways than one. Grass fed beef is the way to go. The problem is where the heck do you find the stuff? In comes google again. I found a farm up in Battle Ground that looks great. Of course there is a problem, they are sold out until June 2012. Nice. Another problem, I'm going to have to buy at least a quarter of a cow. Have you seen how big a cow is? Where on earth am I going to put a quarter of one? I guess I'll need a bigger freezer or I'll have to have a really big BBQ. At any rate the quest for healthy eating and weight loss is going to be difficult and expensive. Ugh.